Typical weekday morning when Gun doesn't go to Mother's Day Out consists of; getting up at 645, making sure Gavin gets ready for school (teeth brushed, deodorant on, hair washed and combed, etc) and on the bus. Then I wake Gideon, dress him while he is still asleep for the most part and put him in car. Both of them eat breakfast at school. When Gunnar and I get home my first question is, "What do you want to eat?" On this morning, he goes to the fridge, holds the door open and looks inside, "Ummmmmm, no, no, no, no, no." In a sweet tone. Then he goes to the pantry, "Ummm, no, no, no, no, no." This time pointing at items as he looks at everything.
I start suggesting "How about oatmeal? Cereal? Eggs? Waffles?" "No, dank you." I make my morning shake and tell him. "You need to decide, I am going to start workout after I put this in the fridge." He says, "O-tay."
Before pushing play on my workout DVD, I say, "Okay Gun, last chance, what are you going to eat?" He just smiles and nods no to me.
So, I push play to start my workout, he won't starve in an hour. I am about 35 minutes into my workout and in walks in Mr. Gun, with a can of corn.
I am breathing hard, "Gun, you want corn? Really?" He nods yes, "Uh-huh!" I tell him to wait until the water break and warm his corn in the microwave. As the bowl of corn turns on the turntable, I think "What kind of Mom serves a can of corn for breakfast? Cornflakes, are they really made from corn, that makes this better, right? I really shouldn't give him this many options, he's only 2. Didn't I learn that corn has almost NO nutritional value in school?"
The microwave timer rings and he runs in, "I need a poon." I reluctantly give Gunnar corn for breakfast. He ate the WHOLE can. I offered other foods after and he said no. For lunch he ate broccili and rice, I felt a better about his intake at that point...
The moral to this story, I pick my battles. Even with the adorable, curly headed, opinionated, out spoken 2 year old. He is healthy, a can of corn for breakfast once in a while won't hurt him. It's better than me forcing him to eat what I want him to and then he pout, smack the bowl of whatever on the floor, me get mad, yell, spank then spend 15 minutes of my busy day cleaning up a mess and compromise my workout time. I think corn for breakfast this day was win-win. He was given the opportunity to choose, he did and he ate breakfast. I won because I got all my workout in, no extra attitudes, no extra mess. Corn, anybody?
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Friday, January 27, 2012
Special Delivery
My kids LOVE to receive parcels from UPS. The majority of the time it's Scentsy shipments for parties that I have to sticker/organize/ and distribute. The kids are my assistants in this task. They do most of the stickering (also applying stickers to their clothes, faces).
Yesterday afternoon, the doorbell rang, Gunnar (who is usually naked when we are at home) runs towards the door. Gavin goes after him and I am slowly following. Gunnar throws open the door, lays on the box and yells, "DANK YOU!" to the UPS man.
The UPS man waved and smiled.
It was such a cute sight and made us laugh for awhile!
Yesterday afternoon, the doorbell rang, Gunnar (who is usually naked when we are at home) runs towards the door. Gavin goes after him and I am slowly following. Gunnar throws open the door, lays on the box and yells, "DANK YOU!" to the UPS man.
The UPS man waved and smiled.
It was such a cute sight and made us laugh for awhile!
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Little steps to independance
I remember when I only had one boy and I had to be with him every instant in a dentist office, or wherever. Now that he's 11, and I want him to learn independance, I am trying to back off a bit and not hover over him. The drawback to that is the other two, who are much younger think that they should be allowed to have this "freedom."
I took Gavin to the dentist yesterday. He got to do the whole appointment by himself and I was completely okay with that. I know he's not going to run out the front door impulsively.
Today, I took Gideon. We waited in the Game Room for his name to be called. An assistant called his name and we both stood up. He looked at me as if he was saying, "I got this." So, I followed very slowly. When he sat it the chair for his x-rays I peeked around the corner at him. I was able to catch the assistant's attention and mimed, "I am going back there, if you have problems let me know." She said, "Okay." I went back to the Game Room and within minutes he was bouncing back into my arms. The assistant came in and said that she told him they were done and he ran back to me. She was smiling and also said that she wanted to be sure he made it back to me, as another assistant will come back to get him for his cleaning. I told her that I was hanging around because he has Autism and can be REAL IMPULSIVE and VERY LITERAL.
The next assistant came and got him. I mentioned to her before she left with him that he has Autism and he likes it when you count as you brush his teeth. About 15 minutes later Dr. Brackett comes to me and reports no cavities and adequate tooth health. They said he laid in the chair for his cleaning and let Dr. Brackett look around his mouth with no issues.
Gideon was so proud of himself. When he got his prize for being good, he asked to get Gunnar one and Dr. Brackett let him. That made Gideon really happy. I don't know if he was more happy about showing Gunnar that he got a prize or actually sharing the prize.
I guess I am learning that independance is developed, not by the child sleeping alone from birth, not from playing organized sports, but by giving the opportunities to succeed at little things and being reassured that they are not alone. These G's should know, they'll never be alone.
I took Gavin to the dentist yesterday. He got to do the whole appointment by himself and I was completely okay with that. I know he's not going to run out the front door impulsively.
Today, I took Gideon. We waited in the Game Room for his name to be called. An assistant called his name and we both stood up. He looked at me as if he was saying, "I got this." So, I followed very slowly. When he sat it the chair for his x-rays I peeked around the corner at him. I was able to catch the assistant's attention and mimed, "I am going back there, if you have problems let me know." She said, "Okay." I went back to the Game Room and within minutes he was bouncing back into my arms. The assistant came in and said that she told him they were done and he ran back to me. She was smiling and also said that she wanted to be sure he made it back to me, as another assistant will come back to get him for his cleaning. I told her that I was hanging around because he has Autism and can be REAL IMPULSIVE and VERY LITERAL.
The next assistant came and got him. I mentioned to her before she left with him that he has Autism and he likes it when you count as you brush his teeth. About 15 minutes later Dr. Brackett comes to me and reports no cavities and adequate tooth health. They said he laid in the chair for his cleaning and let Dr. Brackett look around his mouth with no issues.
Gideon was so proud of himself. When he got his prize for being good, he asked to get Gunnar one and Dr. Brackett let him. That made Gideon really happy. I don't know if he was more happy about showing Gunnar that he got a prize or actually sharing the prize.
I guess I am learning that independance is developed, not by the child sleeping alone from birth, not from playing organized sports, but by giving the opportunities to succeed at little things and being reassured that they are not alone. These G's should know, they'll never be alone.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
S'not funny (Not for the weak stomachs)
So, recently Gunnar has decided that he wants to sit in the seat with a seat belt (probably because I did this when he wet his carseat). In my family, with me being a nurse there's some things I will not tolerate for health reasons. Nick will not tolerate any deviation from safety in the cars, because of what he sees being a fireman. I was in a rush to take Gideon to the second school and Gunnar was throwing a tantrum because he was being wishy-washy about which shoes, socks and pants he wanted to wear. So, I mama-handled him to get pants on and carried him out the door crying and fighting me.
I put him in his carseat and wrestled him down to get it fastened. As I drove, he cried, kicked and spit. Then I heard him blowing his nose. Gideon started yelling, "Gunnar, stop you dross!" I looked in the back and he had blow his nose repeatedly so much that it was hanging from his chin. When we got to the school, I wiped his nose/face and told him how gross he was, he laughed.
Where does a child learn to be so gross?
I put him in his carseat and wrestled him down to get it fastened. As I drove, he cried, kicked and spit. Then I heard him blowing his nose. Gideon started yelling, "Gunnar, stop you dross!" I looked in the back and he had blow his nose repeatedly so much that it was hanging from his chin. When we got to the school, I wiped his nose/face and told him how gross he was, he laughed.
Where does a child learn to be so gross?
Reminiscing
Today with my Gideon not feeling great, I remembered one time when Gavin didn't feel great but wasn't sick enough to lie in bed all day. I was sending him to school, as I was getting him ready he said to me, "Just so you know, I am going to the school NURSE and she is going to send me home." I still laugh when I think about how serious he was about going over my head to the school nurse. I told him that I am a nurse too and I say he goes to school and he was persistent about going to the school nurse. He went, she called and said he saw her but she agreed that he could stay at school.
Gideon was acting strange this morning. He kept putting his hands around his eyes and repeating me. I opted to keep him home and give him some Tylenol and Mucinex. Since the medication, he seems to feel better. I hope he isn't developing his skills in playing hookie. He's told me everyday since being sent home from Headstart that he's "SICK." When I am taking him to school.
Gideon was acting strange this morning. He kept putting his hands around his eyes and repeating me. I opted to keep him home and give him some Tylenol and Mucinex. Since the medication, he seems to feel better. I hope he isn't developing his skills in playing hookie. He's told me everyday since being sent home from Headstart that he's "SICK." When I am taking him to school.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Words with Aunt Chelsie
My sister sends me a text with a picture. Her message is: "Look what your son played in 'Hanging with Friends' ( a game kinda like Hangman).
I look at the picture... Squint my eyes... BONER
His Daddy will be so proud!
I look at the picture... Squint my eyes... BONER
His Daddy will be so proud!
And the award goes to...
So, today has been a wonderful day. Gavin turned 11 today and I had planned pazookies with our family and neighbors. His party with his friends is next week. With that being said, I had to bake cookies, get the house ready for company and buy condiments for the pazookies. After the kids' school, Gavin had choir, then had about an hour until guitar lessons. Just like any other busy day, we looked up and time was running out. The lil G's begged to go with me to guitar. I haven't seen Gavin in a lesson but since Nick was trying to cook and he only got about 3 hours of sleep today, I took the G's with me.
First mistake, forgot Gunnar's shoes... Second mistake, didn't take a potty break. Third mistake, dared my 2 year old who is already defiant to pee in his pants. To my defense there are often times that once I put him in the carseat, he says the magic "I got to go potty" to be let out and then he runs away laughing or he starts climbing all over the three rows in my car laughing because I can't catch him between the carseats and his small stature. So, when he yelled, "I. NEED. TO. PEE!" and threw a toy at me, I said, "No you don't, you always say that and then you bolt." He responded with, "NOW!"
Unfortunately, he has played this card too often and I thought he was crying wolf. The next thing he said, "YAY, I WENT PEE IN MY SEAT!" I asked, "Gunnar, did you really pee? Are you wet?" He said, "Yep," with a HUGE grin on his face. The next thing I know, Gideon is holding himself, "I need to go Mommy, I need to go!" I grabbed a cup and told him to pee in the cup, as I took Gunnar's clothes off. While putting on a dry diaper (because I didn't have anymore undies in my car), he said, "I toe you."
The worst part of this whole scenario is, I couldn't set him in a wet carseat to drive home. He had to ride in a seatbelt on the way home and thankfully nothing happened.
So, today, I will accept the Mother of the Year Award. I would like to dedicate it to the Mom's who think THEY would NEVER do the things their parents did. The mothers who think their house will NEVER look like a daycare. And mostly to the moms that think their kids are the best behaved beings that walk. You too will walk in my shoes one day, and when you do, just laugh. If you don't, you will probably cry.
We came home with 20 minutes before the pazookies. They were a hit. The kids ran around, while the adults talked and had a good time. Thank God for Gavin, for teaching me patience and that this time is short and to enjoy it.
First mistake, forgot Gunnar's shoes... Second mistake, didn't take a potty break. Third mistake, dared my 2 year old who is already defiant to pee in his pants. To my defense there are often times that once I put him in the carseat, he says the magic "I got to go potty" to be let out and then he runs away laughing or he starts climbing all over the three rows in my car laughing because I can't catch him between the carseats and his small stature. So, when he yelled, "I. NEED. TO. PEE!" and threw a toy at me, I said, "No you don't, you always say that and then you bolt." He responded with, "NOW!"
Unfortunately, he has played this card too often and I thought he was crying wolf. The next thing he said, "YAY, I WENT PEE IN MY SEAT!" I asked, "Gunnar, did you really pee? Are you wet?" He said, "Yep," with a HUGE grin on his face. The next thing I know, Gideon is holding himself, "I need to go Mommy, I need to go!" I grabbed a cup and told him to pee in the cup, as I took Gunnar's clothes off. While putting on a dry diaper (because I didn't have anymore undies in my car), he said, "I toe you."
The worst part of this whole scenario is, I couldn't set him in a wet carseat to drive home. He had to ride in a seatbelt on the way home and thankfully nothing happened.
So, today, I will accept the Mother of the Year Award. I would like to dedicate it to the Mom's who think THEY would NEVER do the things their parents did. The mothers who think their house will NEVER look like a daycare. And mostly to the moms that think their kids are the best behaved beings that walk. You too will walk in my shoes one day, and when you do, just laugh. If you don't, you will probably cry.
We came home with 20 minutes before the pazookies. They were a hit. The kids ran around, while the adults talked and had a good time. Thank God for Gavin, for teaching me patience and that this time is short and to enjoy it.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Naked warrior with a toilet bowl brush!
I walk outside to get Gideon off the bus. I take note that Gunnar is fully clothed, Gavin is sitting on the couch before I walk outside where it's about 38 degrees. Gideon steps off the bus and into my arms. I look over my shoulder and Gunnar runs out, naked as the day he was born holding the toilet bowl scrub brush. He runs around the whole yard, yelling the whole time, "AHHHHHHHHH, IT'S TOLD!" The dog is also running around the yard like mad. The busdriver laughs, "You got yourself a streaker there..."
Where on earth did this kid think to do this in a matter of seconds?
Where on earth did this kid think to do this in a matter of seconds?
Fighting for what Gideon needs...not forgetting the others
I took my friend's advice. I cried and cried the first day. I called a counselor so I could have someone to talk to that didn't share my frustrations as prayer requests or excuses for me being sharp with them. I started seeing the counselor because I could no longer take full, leisurely breaths. Shallow breaths, with a tight chest is what I would do. I would smile and push through the day. Lay in bed at night crying quietly, praying that my Gideon would be okay. I would say to God, "This was the one I did EVERYTHING right. I took my vitamins, I slept, ate well, I didn't drink coke, except one on the nights I worked, I nursed him for 15 mo., he didn't go to daycare, I didn't drink a single alcholic bevee rage, I exercised, I was married, sigh..." My prayers were more of a time for me to feel sorry for myself since during daylight hours I was busy being busy. I was taking classes to advance my career, and caring for two busy bodies.
The counselor was great, she helped me learn how to trust others to help me and just by talking about my feelings I felt better. I think all Moms should be entitled to a counselor because there's days that just getting the kids off to school is equal in effort to a day of work, and then you have the rest of the day to contend with.
The first testing with the school didn't go well. The speech therapist called Gideon "Oppositional." This kept him from 3 months of therapy, that he DID qualify for. I had to nicely call the School System back twice a day, telling Gideon's WHOLE story to the person that answered the phone BEFORE allowing them to transfer me to the counselor's voicemail. After four days and 7 phone calls, they scheduled him to be followed by the school psychologist and testing to be redone by the psychologist, psychomotrist, a and different speech therapist. Once the psychologist followed him, she told me that my concerns are accurate and he is on the Autism Spectrum. I thought that I wanted confirmation, I don't know what I wanted. I guess I really hadn't thought that far. The good thing was, he got into a Developmental Delay class with an awesome teacher, where he would receive speech therapy and occupational therapy. At this time, Gideon repeated what you said, and couldn't answer ANY questions. Not "How old are you, what's your name" any of the questions a three year old answers. He needed to be with professionals.
In the meantime, Gunnar is growing up, trying to keep up with his brothers. He is fearless, talking ALL THE TIME. He is so cute and his mannerisms remind me so much of my husband. He's like Nick's mini-me. He uses his cuteness to get his way, and unfortunately I think it's adorable!
Gavin is growing up to be a pre-teen. The kid has a heart of gold. He is so compassionate and just a good kid. He is conscientious and helps me SO MUCH with the other two.
So, I guess that brings you up to speed (for the most part). Now it's on to the daily funnies that the kids do. There could be some humor that might be offensive to some, just remember that there are days that if I don't laugh, I will cry. Enjoy!
The counselor was great, she helped me learn how to trust others to help me and just by talking about my feelings I felt better. I think all Moms should be entitled to a counselor because there's days that just getting the kids off to school is equal in effort to a day of work, and then you have the rest of the day to contend with.
The first testing with the school didn't go well. The speech therapist called Gideon "Oppositional." This kept him from 3 months of therapy, that he DID qualify for. I had to nicely call the School System back twice a day, telling Gideon's WHOLE story to the person that answered the phone BEFORE allowing them to transfer me to the counselor's voicemail. After four days and 7 phone calls, they scheduled him to be followed by the school psychologist and testing to be redone by the psychologist, psychomotrist, a and different speech therapist. Once the psychologist followed him, she told me that my concerns are accurate and he is on the Autism Spectrum. I thought that I wanted confirmation, I don't know what I wanted. I guess I really hadn't thought that far. The good thing was, he got into a Developmental Delay class with an awesome teacher, where he would receive speech therapy and occupational therapy. At this time, Gideon repeated what you said, and couldn't answer ANY questions. Not "How old are you, what's your name" any of the questions a three year old answers. He needed to be with professionals.
In the meantime, Gunnar is growing up, trying to keep up with his brothers. He is fearless, talking ALL THE TIME. He is so cute and his mannerisms remind me so much of my husband. He's like Nick's mini-me. He uses his cuteness to get his way, and unfortunately I think it's adorable!
Gavin is growing up to be a pre-teen. The kid has a heart of gold. He is so compassionate and just a good kid. He is conscientious and helps me SO MUCH with the other two.
So, I guess that brings you up to speed (for the most part). Now it's on to the daily funnies that the kids do. There could be some humor that might be offensive to some, just remember that there are days that if I don't laugh, I will cry. Enjoy!
Not MY plan, but a plan
So, we find out we are pregnant. This time feels better than the miscarriage time, more like the first. I endured the ever so expected morning sickness, however was able to continue working 48 hours/wk. I had extra monetary incentive and with a baby on the way, a Mama has to do what a Mama has to do, to get that designer stroller and stuff you think you need. In the middle of the pregnancy, after viability has been confirmed, I tell my bestfriend "Something is wrong with him." "I don't know what, cleft palate, cleft lip, Down's, something." She was the only one I could confide my irrational thoughts because I had driven everyone insane after losing the baby before. I looked at him weekly with an ultrasound machine at work. I would study him, his heart, his vertebrae, his brain, legs, face, hands... I would look for characteristics of Down's, anything out of the oridinary. Nothing seemed to show. We went for a 3D/4D ultrasound and the technician combed over his body the best she could. Nothing SEEMED to be wrong.
Gideon comes into the world after a short but painful labor. I still think I should get my money back since my epidural didn't take and they didn't offer anything more... Nick changes all of the diapers the first 35 hours. HE'S NO ROOKIE! Around the 36 hour, I find an issue. The butt crack seems long and deep at the top. NURSE! GET YOUR A$$ IN HERE AND EXPLAIN WHY NOBODY MENTIONED THIS! My husband, doesn't understand my freakout session. All I can think is "meningocele." I am on the ceiling and NOBODY can bring me down. Abby calls the next day and I tell her that I was told he has a "Sacral dimple" and it's usually no big deal, but if it's tethered then there's reason to be concerned. UMMMMM, did I mention they can't tell it's tethered until they do an MRI under anesthesia? Abby asks, "Is this IT?" I know what she is asking, and my answer is, "No. I am afraid, not."
I see slow development in smiling, but he does smile. He rolls on time. Then he just keeps rolling, 12 months and this gigantic baby is rolling as transportation around the house. I know this isn't normal, well-intentioned people try to reassure me. At 15 months, physical therapists start working with him. (He is crawling at this point) He is tortured at first, he doesn't want to learn to walk, he wants to continue to play on his knees. I am asked what are you goals? I tell them that he needs to be walking by 22 months, as we are unexpectedly expecting another. They acted as if I was unreasonable with my goal making. They didn't know who they working with.
As I get bigger, I struggle to "pt" (physical therapy) Gideon. I did it though. Being pregnant with Gunnar was fun. I was thrilled to have another surprise, but worried about Gid. Would he get shoved aside when the baby came? What would happen to his therapy, could I keep up? What do people do? I had to come to grips that everything will be okay, it won't be anybody else's way but my own.
Gunnar is born! The biggest of our babies yet! He was already chunky at birth. When I would nurse him, Gideon would climb on the counter, turn on the water and flood the kitchen. He was so fast! I had to learn to put him on lockdown in his room with two baby gates stacked, that way he couldn't climb over it. The little smarty learned that if he laid on the floor and kicked he could kick it out eventually or pull on it and it would come out. Thankfully, he also learned that flooding the kitchen did not earn brownie points. I kept thinking, he should be talking, if he was talking he could say the cute thingsu kids say about little siblings like "Send him back." He didn't though. He would just stare at me, or through me. I wasn't sure. When airplanes flew over he would cover his ears and screech like hell. He had a speech therapist and I asked her if she thought he had Autism. She answered, "I don't know." Code for-I am no Dr. but my opinion is yes. I call Abby, and say, "I found IT. I know what IT is." I tell her and she responds, "How do you know?" "Because, I just know."
The 3 year old check up didn't go well. Gideon was everywhere except where he was supposed to be. He was screeching and flapping his arms (I hadn't noticed it before.) The pediatrician says, "Call your school system he needs tested, he is acting Autistic." I called a friend from work, who is working to cure her son's Autism. She gave me the single most valuable advice: "Cry today, cry for him not being normal. Cry because you are scared. He isn't dead, so tomorrow, get up and do what needs to be done for Gideon."
Gideon comes into the world after a short but painful labor. I still think I should get my money back since my epidural didn't take and they didn't offer anything more... Nick changes all of the diapers the first 35 hours. HE'S NO ROOKIE! Around the 36 hour, I find an issue. The butt crack seems long and deep at the top. NURSE! GET YOUR A$$ IN HERE AND EXPLAIN WHY NOBODY MENTIONED THIS! My husband, doesn't understand my freakout session. All I can think is "meningocele." I am on the ceiling and NOBODY can bring me down. Abby calls the next day and I tell her that I was told he has a "Sacral dimple" and it's usually no big deal, but if it's tethered then there's reason to be concerned. UMMMMM, did I mention they can't tell it's tethered until they do an MRI under anesthesia? Abby asks, "Is this IT?" I know what she is asking, and my answer is, "No. I am afraid, not."
I see slow development in smiling, but he does smile. He rolls on time. Then he just keeps rolling, 12 months and this gigantic baby is rolling as transportation around the house. I know this isn't normal, well-intentioned people try to reassure me. At 15 months, physical therapists start working with him. (He is crawling at this point) He is tortured at first, he doesn't want to learn to walk, he wants to continue to play on his knees. I am asked what are you goals? I tell them that he needs to be walking by 22 months, as we are unexpectedly expecting another. They acted as if I was unreasonable with my goal making. They didn't know who they working with.
As I get bigger, I struggle to "pt" (physical therapy) Gideon. I did it though. Being pregnant with Gunnar was fun. I was thrilled to have another surprise, but worried about Gid. Would he get shoved aside when the baby came? What would happen to his therapy, could I keep up? What do people do? I had to come to grips that everything will be okay, it won't be anybody else's way but my own.
Gunnar is born! The biggest of our babies yet! He was already chunky at birth. When I would nurse him, Gideon would climb on the counter, turn on the water and flood the kitchen. He was so fast! I had to learn to put him on lockdown in his room with two baby gates stacked, that way he couldn't climb over it. The little smarty learned that if he laid on the floor and kicked he could kick it out eventually or pull on it and it would come out. Thankfully, he also learned that flooding the kitchen did not earn brownie points. I kept thinking, he should be talking, if he was talking he could say the cute thingsu kids say about little siblings like "Send him back." He didn't though. He would just stare at me, or through me. I wasn't sure. When airplanes flew over he would cover his ears and screech like hell. He had a speech therapist and I asked her if she thought he had Autism. She answered, "I don't know." Code for-I am no Dr. but my opinion is yes. I call Abby, and say, "I found IT. I know what IT is." I tell her and she responds, "How do you know?" "Because, I just know."
The 3 year old check up didn't go well. Gideon was everywhere except where he was supposed to be. He was screeching and flapping his arms (I hadn't noticed it before.) The pediatrician says, "Call your school system he needs tested, he is acting Autistic." I called a friend from work, who is working to cure her son's Autism. She gave me the single most valuable advice: "Cry today, cry for him not being normal. Cry because you are scared. He isn't dead, so tomorrow, get up and do what needs to be done for Gideon."
I had NO IDEA
I remember staring down at my son Gavin about 11 years ago and thinking, "What in the heck am I supposed to do now?" Although my pregnancy wasn't the whole 'What to Expect When Your're Expecting,' I was happy. I had a new son, a dedicated boyfriend, family, friends -or so I thought, but something didn't click. I was struggling with how do I juggle this and work and oh my gah! How am I supposed to finish school?! I had completed my basics in college and didn't plan on a major life chang in those years.
I worked for a Dr. who one day pulled me inside his office and told me that he believed I could do whatever I put my mind to. He was impressed with my work ethic, living with my convictions and just knew it that I could do something if I put my mind to it. I made a job change to afford daycare, I worked as a legal assistnant and absolutely hated it. Worked with some of the worst group of women, I never (not even in high school) had dealt with anybody as catty, mean and hateful. I try not to harbor hatred, but even typing this puts a nasty taste in my mouth. Then I got an opportunity that changed my life forever. I went to work for a Third Party Adminstrator, it was a family business (not mine) and I was the youngest employee there. I love those people! The antics the sons would do and the drama was entertaining to say the least. They y paid for my insurance and allowed me to pre-tax Gavin's. Before long, they were encouraging me to go back to school to be a nurse. I listened.
We got married when Gavin was 17 months old, had to make sure he was worth marrying. :)
THANK GOD FOR SPONGEBOB! I wouldn't have made it through nursing school without him. Nick was working a lot and that doesn't leave much time for a Mom to work at least 30 hours a week and go to school and then study on top of that! The Grandmothers took Gavin one night a week, HUGE BLESSING.
I made it through school and started working as a RN. It was great, work 3 long days/wk and then have 4 off! We decided to try for another baby. We were surprised when we miscarried around week 13. That was the lowest time in my life. I truly believe that they're was an assault on my spirit one day, I actually had a suicidal thought. What snapped me out of it is seeing a pic of Gavin on the wall with his blue eyes. I looked around our house and remembered the hardwork Nick and I put into it to build memories. I prayed for help and it went away. I called a good friend, she came over and I told her what I had thought and she just grabbed me and hugged. I am not a hugger but when I backed away, I realized that she had no words, just tears and she didn't know what to say. Saying out IT loud my sounded so odd to me, I actually thought for a split second my pain would end if I did this?
For months and months we tried. I used conception monitoring devices, and measuring. It became more scientific than anything. Nick was traveling a lot during this time and I was working 4 nights/wk. I would call him and say, "I need a deposit." We would laugh, but the truth is, I thought a new pregnancy would heal the pain from the lost one. I learned later, I was wrong. I was going to accupuncture and took a pregnancy test before I got into the shower. I got out and low and behold, TWO PINK LINES! The ones you pray not to have when you are just dating someone and having fun. They were bold, they were beautiful, and we were going to have our second son!
-to be continued-
I worked for a Dr. who one day pulled me inside his office and told me that he believed I could do whatever I put my mind to. He was impressed with my work ethic, living with my convictions and just knew it that I could do something if I put my mind to it. I made a job change to afford daycare, I worked as a legal assistnant and absolutely hated it. Worked with some of the worst group of women, I never (not even in high school) had dealt with anybody as catty, mean and hateful. I try not to harbor hatred, but even typing this puts a nasty taste in my mouth. Then I got an opportunity that changed my life forever. I went to work for a Third Party Adminstrator, it was a family business (not mine) and I was the youngest employee there. I love those people! The antics the sons would do and the drama was entertaining to say the least. They y paid for my insurance and allowed me to pre-tax Gavin's. Before long, they were encouraging me to go back to school to be a nurse. I listened.
We got married when Gavin was 17 months old, had to make sure he was worth marrying. :)
THANK GOD FOR SPONGEBOB! I wouldn't have made it through nursing school without him. Nick was working a lot and that doesn't leave much time for a Mom to work at least 30 hours a week and go to school and then study on top of that! The Grandmothers took Gavin one night a week, HUGE BLESSING.
I made it through school and started working as a RN. It was great, work 3 long days/wk and then have 4 off! We decided to try for another baby. We were surprised when we miscarried around week 13. That was the lowest time in my life. I truly believe that they're was an assault on my spirit one day, I actually had a suicidal thought. What snapped me out of it is seeing a pic of Gavin on the wall with his blue eyes. I looked around our house and remembered the hardwork Nick and I put into it to build memories. I prayed for help and it went away. I called a good friend, she came over and I told her what I had thought and she just grabbed me and hugged. I am not a hugger but when I backed away, I realized that she had no words, just tears and she didn't know what to say. Saying out IT loud my sounded so odd to me, I actually thought for a split second my pain would end if I did this?
For months and months we tried. I used conception monitoring devices, and measuring. It became more scientific than anything. Nick was traveling a lot during this time and I was working 4 nights/wk. I would call him and say, "I need a deposit." We would laugh, but the truth is, I thought a new pregnancy would heal the pain from the lost one. I learned later, I was wrong. I was going to accupuncture and took a pregnancy test before I got into the shower. I got out and low and behold, TWO PINK LINES! The ones you pray not to have when you are just dating someone and having fun. They were bold, they were beautiful, and we were going to have our second son!
-to be continued-
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