2013 is the year of detox for me.
I will explain it this way: In 2012 I was diagnosed by my medical doctor that I have fibromyalgia. This was concluded after a ton of blood tests to try to find a vitamin deficiency to cause the pain I had in various parts of my body. It started in my hands, I ignored it for months, until one day I couldn't open one of the kids medicine bottles. I actually handed it to Gideon and with his super 5 year old strength, he opened it. At that point the Dr., with good intentions, put me on Cymbalta. I had relief for a few months. Not pain demolishing relief, but I was at a place where I could function. However, I started to get awakened at night with pain in my calves, legs, and shoulders. Exercise was out of the question, because I would pay immensely for the workout for days. The Dr. increased the dose. Again, some relief at first. A couple weeks later, I was sleeping 18 hours a day. THIS IS NOT CONDUCIVE to my lifestyle. 3 active kids, my work as a nurse, and then starting my direct sales business requires more time that 6 hours a day. The Dr. lowered my dose of Cymbalta, and added Lyrica. AND HERE'S WHERE I GOT SCARED: I began having full blown withdrawl syndrome. I was shaking, dizzy, nauseated and vomiting, my brain would zap and I could feel it through my eyeballs. This lasted for 2 wks, and the pain was worsening. I went back and he gave me a month sample of Savella. A drug approved by the FDA for Fibro. I started the Savella, and then as instructed stopped the Cymbalta. The withdrawl syndrome started all over again. I laid in bed praying that THIS is NOT my life. How could this be?
Help is on the way: I made an appointment with another kind of Dr. He is an acupuncturist. He is the same Dr. that helped me when I couldn't get pregnant for the second time. I told him my story and explained, "I just can't live like this. I am too young." He smiled and said, "You will be alright, you will have to change things, but you will be okay." He gave me the diet of: No refined sugar or flour. Organic as often as possible. No sugar substitutes. He also prescribed a detoxifying tea, and two herbs. My acupuncture at this time is centered around detox. In my sessions, he asks how often I get to be me, read a book or do things I like; since I have other obligations. He asked how often I put aside my needs, my feelings because I don't want to hurt or upset anybody. That made me think...
Has giving myself at home, work, and in social encounters made me sick?
Here's my new attitude: I am purifying my life through changing the way I react to people. No longer am I going to sit back and allow people to say things or expect me to put up with disrespect. I am not going to go out of my way, but if it comes my way then so be it. I don't think that being the "bigger person" is tolerating someone walking on you. Being the bigger person is approaching that person, and making it know that they offended you, then allowing time for reconciliation.
AND
If the other party and I can't come to a compromise, then it's okay that they aren't a part of my life. I am tired of non-authentic friendships or relationships. I am tired of people making promises they don't keep without acknowledging that they didn't follow through. I am tired of people just not being nice.
For so long I have seen/felt the trash, I internalized it with frustration. I try to pray for people that irk me, and I do feel better but I would rather confront it or just move on. So, it's time to take the trash out. A detox of superficial relationships of sort.
Hopefully 2013 will result in restored health, energy and more authentic relationships. Happy New Year!
