2013 is the year of detox for me.
I will explain it this way: In 2012 I was diagnosed by my medical doctor that I have fibromyalgia. This was concluded after a ton of blood tests to try to find a vitamin deficiency to cause the pain I had in various parts of my body. It started in my hands, I ignored it for months, until one day I couldn't open one of the kids medicine bottles. I actually handed it to Gideon and with his super 5 year old strength, he opened it. At that point the Dr., with good intentions, put me on Cymbalta. I had relief for a few months. Not pain demolishing relief, but I was at a place where I could function. However, I started to get awakened at night with pain in my calves, legs, and shoulders. Exercise was out of the question, because I would pay immensely for the workout for days. The Dr. increased the dose. Again, some relief at first. A couple weeks later, I was sleeping 18 hours a day. THIS IS NOT CONDUCIVE to my lifestyle. 3 active kids, my work as a nurse, and then starting my direct sales business requires more time that 6 hours a day. The Dr. lowered my dose of Cymbalta, and added Lyrica. AND HERE'S WHERE I GOT SCARED: I began having full blown withdrawl syndrome. I was shaking, dizzy, nauseated and vomiting, my brain would zap and I could feel it through my eyeballs. This lasted for 2 wks, and the pain was worsening. I went back and he gave me a month sample of Savella. A drug approved by the FDA for Fibro. I started the Savella, and then as instructed stopped the Cymbalta. The withdrawl syndrome started all over again. I laid in bed praying that THIS is NOT my life. How could this be?
Help is on the way: I made an appointment with another kind of Dr. He is an acupuncturist. He is the same Dr. that helped me when I couldn't get pregnant for the second time. I told him my story and explained, "I just can't live like this. I am too young." He smiled and said, "You will be alright, you will have to change things, but you will be okay." He gave me the diet of: No refined sugar or flour. Organic as often as possible. No sugar substitutes. He also prescribed a detoxifying tea, and two herbs. My acupuncture at this time is centered around detox. In my sessions, he asks how often I get to be me, read a book or do things I like; since I have other obligations. He asked how often I put aside my needs, my feelings because I don't want to hurt or upset anybody. That made me think...
Has giving myself at home, work, and in social encounters made me sick?
Here's my new attitude: I am purifying my life through changing the way I react to people. No longer am I going to sit back and allow people to say things or expect me to put up with disrespect. I am not going to go out of my way, but if it comes my way then so be it. I don't think that being the "bigger person" is tolerating someone walking on you. Being the bigger person is approaching that person, and making it know that they offended you, then allowing time for reconciliation.
AND
If the other party and I can't come to a compromise, then it's okay that they aren't a part of my life. I am tired of non-authentic friendships or relationships. I am tired of people making promises they don't keep without acknowledging that they didn't follow through. I am tired of people just not being nice.
For so long I have seen/felt the trash, I internalized it with frustration. I try to pray for people that irk me, and I do feel better but I would rather confront it or just move on. So, it's time to take the trash out. A detox of superficial relationships of sort.
Hopefully 2013 will result in restored health, energy and more authentic relationships. Happy New Year!
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Friday, November 30, 2012
No baby, you are no burden. You are my blessing.
As I watched the Congressional hearings about the rise of Autism and our advocates holding legislators to the fire and trying to make them see the epidemic, I had mixed emotions. It was like watching a sports game on TV, the difference being that this affects my life. My family's life. My children and most importantly, my Gideon. Dan Burton made the comment 'these people (autists) are going to be around for 60-70 years, they aren't just going to be a burden on their families but on society.' At that point, I had to walk away. I couldn't watch anymore. He called my blessing, the baby I prayed for months to conceive, the big guy with a bigger heart, the most sensitive and compassionate person in my family of 5, a burden?
I will be the first to say that he is unique in his needs. Sometimes he can't talk, he makes noises that hurts your ears, he flaps, he runs, he's big and heavy and requires me to carry him to the bus, but he's still my baby. Bigger than me is a God that blessed me with Gideon. He entrusted me with this person, and I will always search for the key to unlock his greatest potential! I have studied Gideon from birth. Learning baby language so he was always fed, changed, & comfortable with little to no crying. I started signing to him at 3 months old and he argued with me at the age of 6 months about nursing in public using sign language (my mom can speak to that). I believe Gideon is going to do something that will make him stand out above his peers. His compassion is like no one else's. He is very literal, which can be funny to us neuro-typicals. He has learned how to joke a little, and he is getting more social. This hasn't been easy for him. It hasn't been easy for me or our family. Is life ever easy? Like the baby language, and sign language, I have made it my mission to learn how Gideon sees the world. How he perceives it and to translate it for him and to him. Then translate to the world what he is trying to say & do. I won't be here forever so the therapies he receives are crucial to his development.
Gideon has begun playing team sports like soccer and basketball. He isn't very coordinated (he's 5, weighs 60 lbs and I am unsure of how tall but wears size 7 clothes). We don't expect him to be an olympic athelete, go to college on a scholarship or even want to play when he gets older. We do this to expose him to social situations, with other people and children. I didn't tell the soccer coach he has Autism, because he acted like the other 4 year olds. I had to tell the basketball coach, because I noticed the coach wanting eye contact and even getting annoyed when Gideon wouldn't appear to be paying attention. I don't fault the coach, this was MY teachable moment. I got to tell the coach that although Gid doesn't look at you, he's listening because he wants your approval. I told the coach that's the reason Nick or I go onto the court during practice and speak directly into his ear (no eye contact) because we want him to see what he needs to and we know he is listening. The coach has changed the way he communicates with Gideon and both seem to be at more ease.
We want him to learn experiences first hand and to not have to attend a special class for these teachable moments with his peers. It's uncomfortable at times and embarrassing, but we try to laugh off what we can and apologize for what we can't. We are so proud of his progress, and he still has a way to go. Academically, he is very smart and learns very quickly. He is so sweet and wants to please adults. When he is stressed, he stops making eye contact. Being his Mom, I can tell when he is stressed before talking to him. It's these times that I worry about the future. His little brain creeps back into a shell. He won't talk, he won't do much beyond his needs (bathroom, drink, eat). I worry that as he grows about these times. I worry that he won't be able to self soothe and have a melt down. At this point, Gavin and I are the only ones that can soothe him within a couple hours. Gavin only being 11, knows to decrease stimuli, and hug him tight, whispering and sometimes singing. Rub his head, pat his back and let him decide when to let go.
I don't feel like Gideon is a burden, he's my son, my gift, he's part of me. I am working very hard to ensure that he will be able to drive, live independantly, keep a job, and be a productive citizen. For him to be referenced as a burden, I can't do anything but shake my head. I know Mr. Burton used the wrong words, he's human, I can see his intent and I forgive him. My blessing needs a different kind of attention than other people's but it's not a burden.
I will be the first to say that he is unique in his needs. Sometimes he can't talk, he makes noises that hurts your ears, he flaps, he runs, he's big and heavy and requires me to carry him to the bus, but he's still my baby. Bigger than me is a God that blessed me with Gideon. He entrusted me with this person, and I will always search for the key to unlock his greatest potential! I have studied Gideon from birth. Learning baby language so he was always fed, changed, & comfortable with little to no crying. I started signing to him at 3 months old and he argued with me at the age of 6 months about nursing in public using sign language (my mom can speak to that). I believe Gideon is going to do something that will make him stand out above his peers. His compassion is like no one else's. He is very literal, which can be funny to us neuro-typicals. He has learned how to joke a little, and he is getting more social. This hasn't been easy for him. It hasn't been easy for me or our family. Is life ever easy? Like the baby language, and sign language, I have made it my mission to learn how Gideon sees the world. How he perceives it and to translate it for him and to him. Then translate to the world what he is trying to say & do. I won't be here forever so the therapies he receives are crucial to his development.
Gideon has begun playing team sports like soccer and basketball. He isn't very coordinated (he's 5, weighs 60 lbs and I am unsure of how tall but wears size 7 clothes). We don't expect him to be an olympic athelete, go to college on a scholarship or even want to play when he gets older. We do this to expose him to social situations, with other people and children. I didn't tell the soccer coach he has Autism, because he acted like the other 4 year olds. I had to tell the basketball coach, because I noticed the coach wanting eye contact and even getting annoyed when Gideon wouldn't appear to be paying attention. I don't fault the coach, this was MY teachable moment. I got to tell the coach that although Gid doesn't look at you, he's listening because he wants your approval. I told the coach that's the reason Nick or I go onto the court during practice and speak directly into his ear (no eye contact) because we want him to see what he needs to and we know he is listening. The coach has changed the way he communicates with Gideon and both seem to be at more ease.
We want him to learn experiences first hand and to not have to attend a special class for these teachable moments with his peers. It's uncomfortable at times and embarrassing, but we try to laugh off what we can and apologize for what we can't. We are so proud of his progress, and he still has a way to go. Academically, he is very smart and learns very quickly. He is so sweet and wants to please adults. When he is stressed, he stops making eye contact. Being his Mom, I can tell when he is stressed before talking to him. It's these times that I worry about the future. His little brain creeps back into a shell. He won't talk, he won't do much beyond his needs (bathroom, drink, eat). I worry that as he grows about these times. I worry that he won't be able to self soothe and have a melt down. At this point, Gavin and I are the only ones that can soothe him within a couple hours. Gavin only being 11, knows to decrease stimuli, and hug him tight, whispering and sometimes singing. Rub his head, pat his back and let him decide when to let go.
I don't feel like Gideon is a burden, he's my son, my gift, he's part of me. I am working very hard to ensure that he will be able to drive, live independantly, keep a job, and be a productive citizen. For him to be referenced as a burden, I can't do anything but shake my head. I know Mr. Burton used the wrong words, he's human, I can see his intent and I forgive him. My blessing needs a different kind of attention than other people's but it's not a burden.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Happy 5th Birthday Gideon
When I think about the path that I traveled to be blessed with Gideon, it is bitter sweet. I remember being so depressed about losing a baby. I was so upset and friends tried to console me by telling me about their experiences and how they were able to get pregnant before their next cycle, shortening their grief time tremendously.
This didn't happen for me. I became so fixated on getting pregnant, because I wanted the pain to go away. I felt like no one could relate to my pain and everywhere I looked I saw pregnant people. I tried to be happy for them, I really tried. Speaking silent prayers that they wouldn't go through what I had, and trying very hard to smile. I knew I was being selfish, but I didn't know how else to feel. I talked to my great friend Amy. She and I had so many things in common, unfortunately, she too had experienced this type of loss. She kept telling me that in God's time, we would get our blessing.
Before an accupuncture appointment, I took a pregnancy test. I remember starting the test and jumping in the shower. When I got out, I was stunned! Two pink lines! I asked Nick to verify what I was seeing, we were ecstatic! Our very supportive Moms came to the first ultrasound to check viability of the pregnancy. To everyone's relief, we had a growing baby. With many prayers, Gideon Rush came into this world, very active. He was the best baby, nursed then slept for 4 hours... He is still a great napper and cuddler.
Despite all the hardwork to get him caught up developmentally, he has taught me so much. He has taught me to look at things from a different perspective. To pay attention to what I say, because so many things we say, we don't mean literally. He has taught me to never under estimate him or his potential. Sometimes it's hard being his Mom, because I want to protect his feelings. I don't want him teased or picked on. What I am learning from this is that he has to learn some of this on his own and not to assume that what offends me, offends him. I can't shield him from everything, because he has to learn how to motivate himself. He has to learn what to walk away from, and when something is worth fighting for, and most important, how to forgive. I know with proper modeling he will learn all of these things. I believe wholeheartedly that he is going to do things that I can't even imagine and be the change that we all want in the world.
I am so lucky to have Gideon and although my heart was broken, I had to endure the pain to appreciate what I have. God's timing and blessing is/was so perfect. So, to my Gid, I love you more than you know and I will always be here when you need me.
This didn't happen for me. I became so fixated on getting pregnant, because I wanted the pain to go away. I felt like no one could relate to my pain and everywhere I looked I saw pregnant people. I tried to be happy for them, I really tried. Speaking silent prayers that they wouldn't go through what I had, and trying very hard to smile. I knew I was being selfish, but I didn't know how else to feel. I talked to my great friend Amy. She and I had so many things in common, unfortunately, she too had experienced this type of loss. She kept telling me that in God's time, we would get our blessing.
Before an accupuncture appointment, I took a pregnancy test. I remember starting the test and jumping in the shower. When I got out, I was stunned! Two pink lines! I asked Nick to verify what I was seeing, we were ecstatic! Our very supportive Moms came to the first ultrasound to check viability of the pregnancy. To everyone's relief, we had a growing baby. With many prayers, Gideon Rush came into this world, very active. He was the best baby, nursed then slept for 4 hours... He is still a great napper and cuddler.
Despite all the hardwork to get him caught up developmentally, he has taught me so much. He has taught me to look at things from a different perspective. To pay attention to what I say, because so many things we say, we don't mean literally. He has taught me to never under estimate him or his potential. Sometimes it's hard being his Mom, because I want to protect his feelings. I don't want him teased or picked on. What I am learning from this is that he has to learn some of this on his own and not to assume that what offends me, offends him. I can't shield him from everything, because he has to learn how to motivate himself. He has to learn what to walk away from, and when something is worth fighting for, and most important, how to forgive. I know with proper modeling he will learn all of these things. I believe wholeheartedly that he is going to do things that I can't even imagine and be the change that we all want in the world.
I am so lucky to have Gideon and although my heart was broken, I had to endure the pain to appreciate what I have. God's timing and blessing is/was so perfect. So, to my Gid, I love you more than you know and I will always be here when you need me.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Happy Father's Day--Tribute to My Dad
Father's Day, makes me proud of the men closest to me... My Dad, Husband and Brother
My Dad, the meanie that made me learn how to change a tire and my car's oil on my first car, before enjoying the freedom of driving. I remember him telling me, about my car, "this is a machine, not a toy, you can kill someone." Taking the time out of his busy life to talk to me about hard work, savings, insurance and retirement. He's been there through all my hiccups in life, sometimes not saying much but being present. All the times I have been in the hospital, he's been there. Before work, after work, asking questions and being the calm amongst my storm. He's got the calming effect on me, I hope to be this for my boys. He was soccer coach, softball coach, advisor, and still answers when I call him about repairs around the house, my car or kid advice. It's funny to see him with my kids, so different as a grandparent. His eyes light up when they're in the room. He laughs, almost constantly. He talks to each of them, to understand them. He comes to their birthday parties, school events, fundraising for Autism, and recreational sports. If I had to say one word to describe my Dad, it would be PRESENT. He was present in the past, present, and I know I can count on him in the future.
I can't express in words how much Dad means to me. I hope I make him proud, and can be the parent he was to me. I love you Dad!
My Dad, the meanie that made me learn how to change a tire and my car's oil on my first car, before enjoying the freedom of driving. I remember him telling me, about my car, "this is a machine, not a toy, you can kill someone." Taking the time out of his busy life to talk to me about hard work, savings, insurance and retirement. He's been there through all my hiccups in life, sometimes not saying much but being present. All the times I have been in the hospital, he's been there. Before work, after work, asking questions and being the calm amongst my storm. He's got the calming effect on me, I hope to be this for my boys. He was soccer coach, softball coach, advisor, and still answers when I call him about repairs around the house, my car or kid advice. It's funny to see him with my kids, so different as a grandparent. His eyes light up when they're in the room. He laughs, almost constantly. He talks to each of them, to understand them. He comes to their birthday parties, school events, fundraising for Autism, and recreational sports. If I had to say one word to describe my Dad, it would be PRESENT. He was present in the past, present, and I know I can count on him in the future.
I can't express in words how much Dad means to me. I hope I make him proud, and can be the parent he was to me. I love you Dad!
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Painful to watch
It's painful to see when Gideon tries to "fit in" and be part of the group how he says things inappropriate. Or, someone tries to tease him and he doesn't understand the joke and overeacts. Then the adults of the group get on to him, give him strange looks and ultimately ignore him. It's painful because I can't help but wonder if this is what his future holds? A future of correction, re-direction and being pushed to side because he isn't capable of being 'normal' in conversation or social situations.
I don't know what to do to make this better. I have tried to educate the family and my friends. It's just hard when the people we see daily that aren't family treat him better than his own family. Our neighbors are more understanding than his aunts and uncles and some of his grandparents. Part of me wants to stay away from these situations. To shelter him from being excluded, to shelter him from feeling inadequate, to shelter him from the pain I feel for him.
I am disappointed tonight, I feel as if my efforts don't do much for his sake and frankly, I am tired of trying. Now I understand why people I have befriended in the Autism community have distanced themselves from family functions. I thought I would never feel the way they do, I was wrong.
It comes down to this, if you can't level with Gideon, then I don't want you around him. He is unable to level with you, he has different abilities, different needs. He is not oblivious to your expressions, he is not deaf, blind or unable to feel. He is simply unable to communicate verbally his emotions and he is hypersensitive to sounds and lights. He is not disabled, he is differently abled. For thiu s reason I say this: If you can't be here for him now, then you aren't welcome when he develops into someone who changes the world. We don't need your approval now, and we won't want you then.
If when you are reading this, you question if this is about you, it probably is. I am begging for you to TRY to act like you love him unconditionally like you say you do and treat him like you actually care about what he is interested in. Ask him his favorite colors, teacher's name, if he goes to school and where, does he ride the bus and so on. Because I am telling everyone, I am seriously getting to the point that I am perfectly okay with only being around the people I care to, the ones that TRY to understand and that do include him.
I don't know what to do to make this better. I have tried to educate the family and my friends. It's just hard when the people we see daily that aren't family treat him better than his own family. Our neighbors are more understanding than his aunts and uncles and some of his grandparents. Part of me wants to stay away from these situations. To shelter him from being excluded, to shelter him from feeling inadequate, to shelter him from the pain I feel for him.
I am disappointed tonight, I feel as if my efforts don't do much for his sake and frankly, I am tired of trying. Now I understand why people I have befriended in the Autism community have distanced themselves from family functions. I thought I would never feel the way they do, I was wrong.
It comes down to this, if you can't level with Gideon, then I don't want you around him. He is unable to level with you, he has different abilities, different needs. He is not oblivious to your expressions, he is not deaf, blind or unable to feel. He is simply unable to communicate verbally his emotions and he is hypersensitive to sounds and lights. He is not disabled, he is differently abled. For thiu s reason I say this: If you can't be here for him now, then you aren't welcome when he develops into someone who changes the world. We don't need your approval now, and we won't want you then.
If when you are reading this, you question if this is about you, it probably is. I am begging for you to TRY to act like you love him unconditionally like you say you do and treat him like you actually care about what he is interested in. Ask him his favorite colors, teacher's name, if he goes to school and where, does he ride the bus and so on. Because I am telling everyone, I am seriously getting to the point that I am perfectly okay with only being around the people I care to, the ones that TRY to understand and that do include him.
Friday, April 13, 2012
First... Then... Last...
Ms. Morgan met me at the car today when I was dropping Gideon off. She asked if I saw Gideon's book from yesterday. Unfortunately, since I have been under the weather, I hadn't. She was so proud of him. She told me that he drew then pictures and told her the order that seeds grow.
I pulled over on the way home to look at the book she mentioned. He had drawn a picture of seeds under the ground, then sprouts, then small plants and then a full plant with flowers. It's so rewarding to see that he is grasping so many things!
This morning his Headstart teacher told me that when Gideon was drawing in his journal that she asked him what he was drawing. He told her "I draw me, I draw me as a fireman when I grow up." She asked him if he needs tools to be a fireman and he proceeded to say, "I have a hose with water, I have a coat with a tank, I have boots and pants and gloves. I have a fire dog, I have a fire extinguisher, and I have cutters to cut through metal to help get people out." She was so impressed that he had a whole plan of what he wanted to do. She then told me that she is getting more out of my 'non-verbal' kiddo, than others that don't have the label developmental delay.
God is good, I really feel that he has a great plan for my Gideon. I am so proud of him. It was only 18 months ago that he was non-verbal, echolalic, and not processing simple commands. What a difference these teachers have made in his life. I am so grateful for the MDO for allowing my special needs child to attend, when they didn't have to. To Ms. Angie for loving Gideon and connecting with him. To Ms. Morgan and her aides, for being patient with Gideon and teaching him. Ms. Gray, the speech therapist, for understanding your specialty and thinking outside the box for Gideon, to the occupational therapist for making therapy fun for Gideon, so he can get better. The Headstart teachers, Ms. Sandra, Ms. Dena and Ms. Maria, thank you for understanding that everyday is a new day with new challenges or milestones and thank you for having an open mind.
Some may think that this is their jobs, I don't feel that way. I feel that they are getting paid for their calling. God Bless you all!
I pulled over on the way home to look at the book she mentioned. He had drawn a picture of seeds under the ground, then sprouts, then small plants and then a full plant with flowers. It's so rewarding to see that he is grasping so many things!
This morning his Headstart teacher told me that when Gideon was drawing in his journal that she asked him what he was drawing. He told her "I draw me, I draw me as a fireman when I grow up." She asked him if he needs tools to be a fireman and he proceeded to say, "I have a hose with water, I have a coat with a tank, I have boots and pants and gloves. I have a fire dog, I have a fire extinguisher, and I have cutters to cut through metal to help get people out." She was so impressed that he had a whole plan of what he wanted to do. She then told me that she is getting more out of my 'non-verbal' kiddo, than others that don't have the label developmental delay.
God is good, I really feel that he has a great plan for my Gideon. I am so proud of him. It was only 18 months ago that he was non-verbal, echolalic, and not processing simple commands. What a difference these teachers have made in his life. I am so grateful for the MDO for allowing my special needs child to attend, when they didn't have to. To Ms. Angie for loving Gideon and connecting with him. To Ms. Morgan and her aides, for being patient with Gideon and teaching him. Ms. Gray, the speech therapist, for understanding your specialty and thinking outside the box for Gideon, to the occupational therapist for making therapy fun for Gideon, so he can get better. The Headstart teachers, Ms. Sandra, Ms. Dena and Ms. Maria, thank you for understanding that everyday is a new day with new challenges or milestones and thank you for having an open mind.
Some may think that this is their jobs, I don't feel that way. I feel that they are getting paid for their calling. God Bless you all!
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Heart smiles
This morning upon taking Gideon to school there was a boy about his size there. He was with his mother and they were bringing his sister to school. I can see the haze of Autism on the little boys face, as he is studying the play tools. Gideon walks up to him, they stand as if they are going to have a conversation. No verbal exchanges take place. Then the boy touches Gideon's tummy. The boy is expressionless, I watch to see Gideon's reaction. Gideon begins to laugh, then smiles and says, "I gonna tickle you!" The boy stands there and looks at Gideon.
The mother begins to apologize and explain, I said to her, "I don't want to be rude, but your apology isn't necessary. Your son did nothing wrong, he is a child and learning how to socialize just as my son is. My son struggles with socialization and appropriate language. He was non-verbal until about a year ago. I understand how you feel, but please know, just like the day you held the door for me when Gideon was having a meltdown, you didn't judge me. I don't judge you or your son."
She smiled and said, "Oh thank you." She proceeded to tell me that the day she saw me carrying Gideon is and I was almost shaking, that she knows how embarrassing it is. On that day, Gideon pounced on me while I was driving on a highway and grabbed the wheel to get into my lap. I believe that it was only by a miracle that we didn't hit oncoming traffic or roll the car. I was so scared, I was afraid for what happened and afraid for what was happening in my Gideon. Was this permanent? Thankfully, he was ill and after antibiotics he was fine. Other Autism Moms know these thoughts, they understand the juggling of illness vs. use of antibiotics.
It was nice to be able to reciprocate compassion to someone. Little gestures go a long way. When you see a family struggling, offer to hold a door, help a Mom load groceries in her van, or just extend a genuine smile. The little things keep me sane on some days.
The mother begins to apologize and explain, I said to her, "I don't want to be rude, but your apology isn't necessary. Your son did nothing wrong, he is a child and learning how to socialize just as my son is. My son struggles with socialization and appropriate language. He was non-verbal until about a year ago. I understand how you feel, but please know, just like the day you held the door for me when Gideon was having a meltdown, you didn't judge me. I don't judge you or your son."
She smiled and said, "Oh thank you." She proceeded to tell me that the day she saw me carrying Gideon is and I was almost shaking, that she knows how embarrassing it is. On that day, Gideon pounced on me while I was driving on a highway and grabbed the wheel to get into my lap. I believe that it was only by a miracle that we didn't hit oncoming traffic or roll the car. I was so scared, I was afraid for what happened and afraid for what was happening in my Gideon. Was this permanent? Thankfully, he was ill and after antibiotics he was fine. Other Autism Moms know these thoughts, they understand the juggling of illness vs. use of antibiotics.
It was nice to be able to reciprocate compassion to someone. Little gestures go a long way. When you see a family struggling, offer to hold a door, help a Mom load groceries in her van, or just extend a genuine smile. The little things keep me sane on some days.
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